“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” –Reinhold Niebuhr
If you read about me, you know that this blog is for my husband who is overseas. While he may be the only reader, my hope is that one day I’ll get the courage to share this with the public. Why they would want to read it, I don’t know. With that being said, my voice is that of a normal blogger. I think.
Today started like any other day: Steve got up before me, took the dog out, fed the dog, showered, dog got annoying, squeaky toy and laid next to me with said toy squeaking in my ear (ok, so the dog was actually on the other side of the room, but it sounded like he was in my ear), I got up.
Unfortunately, today was not like any other day. It was a 3-cups-of-coffee kind of day because I haven’t slept all week due to the anxiety leading up to today. It was the day I had to send my awesome husband off to the desert so that he can make the big bucks and I can stay at home with our little nugget.
I’m constantly working on my attitude about Steve’s job, hence the serenity prayer at the beginning of this post. Some days the devil gets the best of me and I’m super negative. There have been times where I’ve complained about being left alone, being a single mom, having to take care of things solo, etc. I don’t generally like being alone. I mean, I enjoy a little peace and quiet every now and then….but most of the time I prefer to be with people. I know, I know – Graham is a person and Scout thinks he’s a person. But it’s not the same. Sometimes I get scared at night. Like a child. Seriously. I may have issues. Scout and Graham can’t comfort me – they’re only dog and baby – they can’t even talk. And have YOU ever tried to have a relationship with someone who you can only talk to for 10 minutes a day…if that? It’s doable, don’t get me wrong! But it’s no cake walk. ….these are the things I complain about. I know it’s hard for Steve, too. He has to go without ME! ….and Graham, and Scout, and his friends. He misses out on weddings, parties, and other little memory making events. But he never complains.
Today, however, I’m not feeling like complaining either. While sad, I feel unbelievably blessed. Yes, my husband is gone, my house is a mess (like, holy dust bunnies), my son doesn’t want to nap, my dog (with his damn squeaky toy) only wants to play, laundry is overflowing from all rooms of the house, etc. But someone out there has it harder than me. Steve doesn’t travel to get away from the madness (right???)….I’m pretty sure he does it so that the boys and me can hang out ALL DAY LONG, we can have an awesome house, cars that run smoothly, a full pantry,
underwear without holes in them, shoes without holes in them (more accurate), and did I mention…I don’t have to work!? Thanks, babe. You rock.
So, since you’ve been gone:
-I went the wrong way out of the airport, drove 15 min in the wrong direction only to get stuck in traffic.
-Came home and tried to tidy up, feed Graham and play with Scout – all at the same time.
-Load of laundry #1
-Waited for the temperature to drop then headed out for a run. Got 5 miles in and felt great – didn’t walk up a single hill.
-Gave Graham a bath because he smelled like rotten cheese. We practiced saying “Da Da” in the tub.
-Put Graham to bed.
-Sat on couch and tried to figure out this whole blog thing. Holy Cow.